A LOT has changed since my last post. I'm neither where i used to be, nor WHO, nor with who i prefer being.... *sniff* I can go on cribbing.... and hey! thats EXACTLY what i'm gonna do!
Being in a new place, tends to screw up the head thoroughly! I'm quite sure I'm a certified racist! I cant help but judge the people around me. Judge them on their attitude, their language, their mannerisms, their....almost everything. And apart from judge, I'm beginning to dislike them...... who 'them' ? nearly all of them! Yep! I'm getting that Hitler-ish feeling..... extreme Lau for one's race. So, I LAU my race..... but what IS my race? I really dont know.... for now.... i could say... anything but Chinese.... man thats racist.... but i've established that already....so, moving on.....
At home, i've mingled with so many kinds of people..... people who speak different languages, celebrate different festivals, have hazaar varied religious customs... then what is it about one race here... that totally PISSES me off??
Why is it that i get pissed when i have to repeat myself here? I used to do that almost all the time back home... but here.... no! its THEM! THEY HATE ME!
Why is it that I'm always 'on-guard' and crazily wary of someone discriminating against me?
ALL IN THE HEAD! all in the friggin head! Nobody's against me... nobody's out to get me (at least none that I know of....) They just are like that.... dont like to look around.... like to give people their space... or do they? or am i just rambling on about weird delusional conspiracy theories.... you BET I am! Lets get onto more serious things....
One of my students asked me.... "...how are the 'chicks' there " ..... truly I say to thee...."Seen one...seen them all" ... No, really.... seen one....and you've ACTUALLY seen them all..... now THATS racist! Racist to the CORE! Either racist or my disability to distinguish between the oriental women....and many times, men too.... Picture this.....
You're sitting in a bus, and someone sits next to you....on your right.... then somebody else sits next to you... on your left.... and being Indian,( sheessh...theres that racist hum again....) I have to look around... so... what do i see? someone on my right.... someone on my left.... except that its the same someone on my right, with different clothes.... " were'nt you just...?"-- Then I look in front of me... WOWZA! same! move ahead.... ready to step off the bus... glance at the driver.... fingers crossed, eyes crinched, toes curled.... yeah! one BIG eye roll.... SAME!!! They're really out to get me!
This is really not funny, atleast to those who may find it..... I grew up, considering myself a reasonable person, with certain values and beliefs... neutralistic in opinions and views. But this just bundles my conscience into a tiny lil bag and rattles it around my empty skull till my mind tells me....
"You're a Fuckin RACIST bastard!!"
Wonder what my soul was doing the whole time....
As I see it, racism is a product of frustration, stubborn dejection and Ego!
yes.... ACTUALLY a product...so...
FRUSTRATION x STUBBORN DEJECTION x EGO
actually, more a convoluted product.... so....
FRUSTRATION * STUBBORN DEJECTION * EGO
See.... racism cannot exist with any of the above quantities (or qualities...same thing) being Zero....
Hopefully, I'll be able to throw more light on the above three.... not right away though...... yeah.... you can run, but you cant hide! or you can move the mouse to the lil 'x' mark on the top right corner of the page and click it... or click once on the page and press Alt+F4...that should do it.
So what made me obtain the 3 charms? Quite a few factors.... but one strong factor to begin with....
was THIS :
Just another day in a bachelor's filthy kitchen... I'm washing.... la-dee-da...
Cool tap....eeed'nt it???
Now WAIT-A-MINUT!!....what DO we have here??
Is it some curd ?
or is it some stain ?
its.... its....
...What the--?
Yep! Exactly.... " What the -- " only!
When the pictures built by your mind get blown to gad-zillion lil pieces by the harsh reality that surrounds it, dejection projects its magnificent shadow and takes you under its wing, where-in it can crap on your mind and fill your empty head with its flatulent produce.
... in other words...
... shit on your thoughts and fart in your head!
Wonder what your soul does at that time...
A wise person once said...
"Never hold your farts in.... because, then it travels up, all the way into your head... and thats when SHITTY thoughts occur"
How true! how PROFOUND and true!
I'll be back soon.... more updates on life, reason and beyond.
3 comments:
Hair i'm losing.... but brains,.... cant really lose what you dont really have... :D
ah dear snehal we must open a bottle of wine and talk. Can understand a lot of what's going through you. I've seen it happen to me and my wife. So the bottle of wine's on?
lets just open the bottle.... :)
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