Aaaw....

"Nishu Darling,

It takes little time to digest that our little champ wielding toyguns of multiple sizes from KAVERI to KAMATH NIVAS has scored a quarter century credittably.At this stage we still remain your proud parents snatching a square share of joy in your fulfilment and accomplishment in every sphere of your discovery of skills,talents and yet to be explored latent potentials.

May your future endeavours bring you all the success and good fortune you deserve. We know you are strong and a DETERMINED YOU. You have proved it at your music,at your teaching at your silent counselling. Kick start your future with the best foot forward,upholding your faith and values and rest assured your dreams will come true because we are with you

Fond love and God's. blessings to you on this great day, your specal BIRTHDAY.

with lots of love'
MUM and DAD "


Ah! Parents!

Emotional Transgressions....

It's really funny how a dream makes you want to write.... I started blogging because of a dream i had.... and I'm back again because of ANOTHER dream.... something that spawns over mud-wrestling and getting caught at home, with a chick in your bed... dreams... what can I say? hear more of mine and you'll be clearing out your insides PRETTY soon......

A LOT has changed since my last post. I'm neither where i used to be, nor WHO, nor with who i prefer being.... *sniff* I can go on cribbing.... and hey! thats EXACTLY what i'm gonna do!

Being in a new place, tends to screw up the head thoroughly! I'm quite sure I'm a certified racist! I cant help but judge the people around me. Judge them on their attitude, their language, their mannerisms, their....almost everything. And apart from judge, I'm beginning to dislike them...... who 'them' ? nearly all of them! Yep! I'm getting that Hitler-ish feeling..... extreme Lau for one's race. So, I LAU my race..... but what IS my race? I really dont know.... for now.... i could say... anything but Chinese.... man thats racist.... but i've established that already....so, moving on.....

At home, i've mingled with so many kinds of people..... people who speak different languages, celebrate different festivals, have hazaar varied religious customs... then what is it about one race here... that totally PISSES me off??
Why is it that i get pissed when i have to repeat myself here? I used to do that almost all the time back home... but here.... no! its THEM! THEY HATE ME!
Why is it that I'm always 'on-guard' and crazily wary of someone discriminating against me?

ALL IN THE HEAD! all in the friggin head! Nobody's against me... nobody's out to get me (at least none that I know of....) They just are like that.... dont like to look around.... like to give people their space... or do they? or am i just rambling on about weird delusional conspiracy theories.... you BET I am! Lets get onto more serious things....

One of my students asked me.... "...how are the 'chicks' there " ..... truly I say to thee...."Seen one...seen them all" ... No, really.... seen one....and you've ACTUALLY seen them all..... now THATS racist! Racist to the CORE! Either racist or my disability to distinguish between the oriental women....and many times, men too.... Picture this.....
You're sitting in a bus, and someone sits next to you....on your right.... then somebody else sits next to you... on your left.... and being Indian,( sheessh...theres that racist hum again....) I have to look around... so... what do i see? someone on my right.... someone on my left.... except that its the same someone on my right, with different clothes.... " were'nt you just...?"-- Then I look in front of me... WOWZA! same! move ahead.... ready to step off the bus... glance at the driver.... fingers crossed, eyes crinched, toes curled.... yeah! one BIG eye roll.... SAME!!! They're really out to get me!

This is really not funny, atleast to those who may find it..... I grew up, considering myself a reasonable person, with certain values and beliefs... neutralistic in opinions and views. But this just bundles my conscience into a tiny lil bag and rattles it around my empty skull till my mind tells me....

"You're a Fuckin RACIST bastard!!"

Wonder what my soul was doing the whole time....



As I see it, racism is a product of frustration, stubborn dejection and Ego!

yes.... ACTUALLY a product...so...

FRUSTRATION x STUBBORN DEJECTION x EGO

actually, more a convoluted product.... so....

FRUSTRATION * STUBBORN DEJECTION * EGO


See.... racism cannot exist with any of the above quantities (or qualities...same thing) being Zero....

Hopefully, I'll be able to throw more light on the above three.... not right away though...... yeah.... you can run, but you cant hide! or you can move the mouse to the lil 'x' mark on the top right corner of the page and click it... or click once on the page and press Alt+F4...that should do it.

So what made me obtain the 3 charms? Quite a few factors.... but one strong factor to begin with....

was THIS :

Just another day in a bachelor's filthy kitchen... I'm washing.... la-dee-da...



Cool tap....eeed'nt it???




























Now WAIT-A-MINUT!!....what DO we have here??







Is it some curd ?








or is it some stain ?








its.... its....











...What the--?



Yep! Exactly.... " What the -- " only!

When the pictures built by your mind get blown to gad-zillion lil pieces by the harsh reality that surrounds it, dejection projects its magnificent shadow and takes you under its wing, where-in it can crap on your mind and fill your empty head with its flatulent produce.

... in other words...

... shit on your thoughts and fart in your head!

Wonder what your soul does at that time...

A wise person once said...

"Never hold your farts in.... because, then it travels up, all the way into your head... and thats when SHITTY thoughts occur"

How true! how PROFOUND and true!

I'll be back soon.... more updates on life, reason and beyond.

The return of Sir Sumschmuckfays Whoocelaustyt...

Hair is a very touchy issue.....lack of it,can lead you to extremes of depression, depending on how shallow you are... or does shallowness matter?
Just a few years ago, it was there, now its depleting....few years from now, it will be gone, and one immediately starts 'opto-communication' directly with the sun, through the top of one's head!

'opto-communication' is a term coined by Sir Sumschmuckfays Whoocelaustyt.... no prizes for guessing....
Its the process of reflecting back those rays of the sun, from the top of one's head, which are directly incident on the top of one's head... kinks may arise, especially in the ratio of reflection to reception.... depending on the number of dents,stitches,etc present on one's scalp before or after baldness...
Anycase, baldness is more a mental than a physical ailment, the latter being more obvious.

Sir Sumschmuckfays Whoocelaustyt, truly believes that once a man starts losing hair, nothing can save him...Sir Sumschmuckfays Whoocelaustyt is bald too.... but he's happy.... he just tries to stick to his corrolaries and avoid excessive facial hair.... its like this....hair has a very nice migratory pattern...

When I was 17, I badly wanted a frenchy.... thats a "french beard", and not a famous undergarment-brand's sub-product. The hair on my head was quite fine then, but the frenchy hardly took recognizable form... at one point, I think I must have secretly wished for some of my "head-hair" to "migrate" to my face.... BINGO that was the mistake....cliched sayings prop up...
"Be careful what you wish for"
"a wish once made cannot be undone"
"Dont bite more than you can chew"...ummm well ok cliched, not appropriate....
but this is exactly whats happening... its like hair saying
"Make way...we're moving south forever".....ridiculous!!!

The worst part is the transition from hair to bare....
It starts with you being able to see more of your scalp, at the sides, front, top, through your hair...anycase....

SIGN No.1 : Higher scalp visibility

Next, an overt sense of the weather.... its like the opening/ revealing of a 6th sense..."Its soo bleddy hot today "(wiping partially bald,sweaty scalp with 'hanky')
"Its very cold...I need a 'menkey' cap" (feeling extreme warmth AFTER covering head)

Therfore, SIGN No.2 : Higher weather adjudgeability

Next, ever heard of the expression "Lights up the room with his presence" apart from being a tubelight, you could also be bald and achieve the same effect.... ( not the effect of being stupid n bright at the same time) See, Sir Sumschmuckfays Whoocelaustyt's laws of "Luminous Intensity in domestic dwellings" can throw some light on the matter (no pun intended)...
Law 1 states.... "The ceiling of a room is its most reflective surface"
corollary of law 1... "The ceiling of a room is its most reflective surface, till a bald man walks in"

A soon followed 'sub-law' from this, which earned Sir Sumschmuckfays Whoocelaustyt a lot of moolah was : "Why buy 3 bulbs when you can make do with just 2 and a baldy"
This resulted in Sir Sumschmuckfays Whoocelaustyt recieving a lot of party invites. Bulbs were an expensive affair in those days, and hence, a bald man was always welcome.
[This also led to heated arguments between Mr.Edison and Sir Sumschmuckfays Whoocelaustyt.]
Well, that brings us to ....
SIGN No.3 : Automatically brightning of rooms

Finally, the definite give away is the consistent stares of people.... its lovely, you learn so much about human nature...actually just one thing in particular.... "Everyone's curiosity is piqued by a balding scalp"
People LOVE to "look into" a balding scalp....its worse than staring at cleavage, at least with cleaveage,you have an excuse...well... :D
But balding scalps....well, when you see one, you just have to look!!!
certain thoughts that circulate....
"ummm... I wonder how soon he'll lose ALL of it"
"ummm... I wonder how many 'hairs' he has left"
"DOES'NT HE HAVE ANY SHAME??? leering at my chest,BASTARD...ummmm he's going bald...heheh!....BASTARD....STOP LETCHING!!!"

Though Thoughts...cant hurt you, they are thoughts none the less... but its the eyes that can pierce.... oh yeah! if i had a rupee for the number of times people have 'overtly' observed my balding scalp.....

Baby you're a RICH man!
Baby you're a RICH man!

Well, too bad, nobody's paying me for that...
Its even worse if you're short! people will definitely pay a 'glance' toward the top of your head.... its like.... "Look now,when you have a chance... years later, there will be TOO much of light reflecting off it!"

SIGN No.4 : Obsessively Scalp oriented eyeballs


So whats the way out?? NOTHING.... you're going bald? thats a one way road machha! No coming back!

well you could try and exploit the migratory nature of hair, and grow some on your face...at the price of deeming your self as a "lesser evolved being".... I would suggest a soul patch....works fine...defined as
"A small growth of hair, just below the lower lip and just above the chin"
Facial hair can unfailingly divert attention from a balding scalp.... you could even try sticking lil pieces of bread or 'roti' in facial hair, and notice AMAZING results... its obvious...
"Balding scalp v/s Food bits in goatee/moustache"
HA! Bald scalp will suffer a horrible loss, thus realising primary objective of attention elusion.

To end with, a nice limerick by Sir Sumschmuckfays Whoocelaustyt :

There once was a lecturer in M.S.R.I.T
Whom, a few girls considered a 'cutie'
When their poems they read,
He scornfully said
"Watch it missies, its a 'soul patch', not a goatee"

Works for me!

Bin-uh-Laaaung taime since we Rock'n'Rolled!!!

Three long months! During which,LOTS has happened. actually, not much.... just felt like saying that. Losing many things, hair, more specifically, but more on that later. The semester's over, all exams done, finished with exam duties.... invigilating SUCKS ASS!!!!! Forget music,they wont even let you carry a book! THREE long hours watching students write! But every once in a while, theres entertainment. Feels great to threaten a student....hehehhe *evil laugh* Some of them can be quite stupid! Its like they're in some imaginary universe,apparently where in, room invigilators are nothing more than nothing.... yeah, that says enough.

I've noticed this trend; Inter-Universal-truckin, mainly among first year students. They dont really know how bad the VTU squad can be, wait, let me rephrase.... they dont know that most VTU sqaud members suffer from "CHRONIC ARSE MINDEDNESS" or otherwise, fondly known as "Ed-ZACHERY" disease (for the un-initiated.... "That state, when patient's face looks 'Ed-Zachery' like patient's arse). I love to go near a potential "space trucker" and threaten him.... see, apart from the regular space for the room invigilator's signature, theres this lil box on the student's answer booklet, which reads :"To be signed by Chief Superintendent during time of MALPRACTICE" .....TA-DA!!! So, when i notice them trying to get all owl-eyed, I tell them, pointing to that section on their bookelt, in soft whispers.... "You know, theres another place where i can sign..." ..... SCARES THE CRAP OUT OF THEM!!!!
I think its the word "MALPRACTICE"...sounds very threatening!

Eventhough I know they're trying some shit-like stunt, especially during the university exams, I dont go beyond "scaring" them. Most of who are stupid enough to TRY copying during university exams, are usually quite nervous and scared. A smple warning would do. But try telling the squad that.... firstly... more about the squad.

Picture this, A hot march afternoon, long empty road, preferrably a stretch on the bangalore-mysore highway, maybe just one tree, in the distance... nothing but HOT, HOT, TRES-HOT SUN, burning into the asphalt.... somewhere in the 3rd quartile of the lateral side of the road, a parched, road-fused,festering human turd... Thats your basic squad..... whose members are just variants of dried up desert turds.

"My, my Pintu saar..... why such staunch hatred ?" might you say,
The depths of my psyche, beckons you to, who knows,....foray?
I'm a poet , and I dont know-et! ....."laayk-laayk"

But true in every sense, most of the squad guys are nothing but turds. Its painful to know that some people take pleasure in FAILING a student, for no apparent reason. And this I have witnessed first hand! The bastard "caught" and "booked" a student under "malpractice", just because he had a teeny lil phone book in his pocket... was it wrong to have a phone book in your pocket while answering an exam? Yep it was! And stupid too.... Upon finding such "objects" with students,

If you're a normal person, you would :

1. Check the book for any chits or formulas
2. Warn the student
3. Collect the book and hand it over to the Room invigilator
4. Leave silently (Nooo pun intended)

But if you're a squad guy... you would :

1. Check the book for any chits or formulas
2. Let out a low growl of happiness, signifying new-found prey
3. Do a lil victory dance
4. Shout out weird noises in short bursts, signalling to other turd
munching squad members around the vicinity.
5. Catch the poor student by the collar and make a bee line to the Princi's
office and exclaim with near-orgasmic faces..."Look what WE found...saaar!"

Not to be mistaken, that the squad works with the Princi... the squad is not even part of the college, its a conglomerate of pieces of shit from various colleges in the state. As a matter of fact, the squad PISSES-OFF the Princi...

To make it worse for me, when I stepped into the Princi's office, a lovely scene greeted me...the squad! all happy and together, like the fuckin A-TEAM!
"Yes, we are the champions...my phriends....and we'll keep on faaating till the end!!" Of all the times I have ever felt like punching someone, this one takes the CAKE!!
Since I was the room invigilator for the "culprit" I was urged to sign a few things, mostly what i didnt believe... well I'm happy to say that I did'nt. Atleast somewhere in that roasted brain of theirs, they agreed to let me write my own view of the fiasco. The only problem.... it didnt matter. Not one bit. The poor boy lost a lot of time, was'nt allowed into the hall again, and in all probablities, my "appeal" may have been used as a "kleenex"... or perhaps not, the squad prefers trees and lamp posts. Bastards ki jai!

Upbringing? Emotional immaturity? Sexual frustration?(in other words...
"Apna Haath, Jagannath" syndrome) Or just a simple case of the "If I were King for a day" feeling. It Sucks!!!!