Gabbar....!

Growing a beard is not easy. Growing a moustache is worse. Its like this, you first grow a beard, then shave off the parts you dont want, till a moustache remains... then you have to groom the moustache...ie, after it has grown considerably. If you're planning on just growing a moustache without a beard camouflage,you'll have to get used to comments like...
"Whats that on his face?!?" or "You should try my soap, its quite effective" or "How was the milkshake"....well,FUCK THEM ALL! especially the type who offer you soap...bleddy condescending pricks!

A burgeoning stubble evokes mixed but amusing responses from people... some even call you handsome... ha!
Trust me,almost nobody likes a bearded being... why? Its like this, beards are scary. Almost all the bad-ass villains were bearded...but why bearded...and not just some kind of funky hair-do...why the poor beard? Its all related to evolution.... for instance, whats the one thing that sets apart man and beast? is it...
...speech?...nope!
...opposable-digits a.k.a thumbs?...hmmmm....nope!
...ability to "enjoy" sex?....well...
...No!!
Its HAIR! more specifically, FACIAL hair...according to Sir Sumschmuckfays Whoocelaustyt's law of follicular relativity....

"The quantity of facial hair is in inverse proportion to the extent of evolution"

There... HAIR is what sets apart man and beast. Its hair that gives animals the "fierce" edge...
And,most people are afraid of animals,beasts, the like. Then from Sir Sumschmuckfays Whoocelaustyt's sub-law,Its true that, the lesser evolved a being, the more afraid is the general masses. Which inevitably leads to the conclusion...

"Scarier when HAIRIER"

Its true...the other day I scared a lil girl just by looking at her! Technically, from Sir Sumschmuckfays Whoocelaustyt's corollary, It should have been the other way around... after all, she had more hair than I did (or ever will) Come to think of it, she was a lil scary.....with her "Earschplittinloudenboomer" like scream.... that might also go on to prove Sir Sumschmuckfays Whoocelaustyt's second and rather explicit law...

"Women.are.scary... "

[btw,thats read "WOMEN(period)ARE(period)SCARY(period)(period)(period)"]
But for some strange reason, he was murdered before proving it...hmmm

But for now, whats been proved is that FACIAL hair decreases IQ. I,can feel that... I've been growing a beard lately,and I dont know if it will evolve into a moustache. Not just because I cant make up my mind, but for the simple reason that I DONT know.
But my not knowing could also be attributed to the fact that I now have a beard, and my IQ has decreased...and so has my perception, understanding,etc...

Maybe I should shave it off, then I'd know exactly what I would want to do with it...but then it would'nt be there anymore....Soooo I'll grow it back knowing what to do with it,and then...but no, what if... what if my stupidity takes over....once again rendering me with a healthy dose of indecision.... Then I'd have to shave again,to regain sense... Yep! I'll do just that.... Shave everyday!


ps : Sir Sumschmuckfays Whoocelaustyt ROCKS!!!!

Set me free...

There has never been another song that could ACTUALLY make me feel like this one does....OK,agreed, every song is exclusive in its own subtle way, and further, a song strikes a chord depending on the circumstances under which it is heard, but not this one....from the first time I heard it,to right now...slumped in front of the PC on a Sunday afternoon...at "work"....and through my window,watching a typical "Bangalore" rain...(partial sun...torrential rain...) Even the bloody RAW recording sounds beautiful.... Dunno WHAT those guys were on...when they wrote it.
Brilliant piece of work though. I really dont know the words, but sometimes...just sometimes, a song just by the quality of ABSOLUTE music can "speak" with you...just like the way this does with me..... i dont know if its because of the lovely Maj7ths or the Sus2 or the funny riffs in between (i'm just showing off my knowledge on chords...eh???) But No, seriously....this one song, has THE potential to hit it big... FUCKING BIG!!!...if we can only get our act together.

SO I disconnected my bike's horn... WOW...total "Zen" feeling while riding around... that is, if Zen means "just about to DIE". Bangalore has lost it. Dunno if its S.M Krishna's fault or Premji and Moorthy's. Well, bottomline, its crowded... And Mr.Lowda and Singh are'nt helping either....So,in the words of the Jengle Boy...
"Big Slimey Sweaty Hairy Balls" to them... Ha!
Long Live Jengle Boy!

But its nice not having a horn...No, I'm not mad, maybe a little, Ok, you win. But it sort-of calms you down.
In the beginning, all you feel like doing is RIPPING the MoFo's head off....then you shout stuff like..."Ninn ammanakayee..." of course, only if you're wearing a helmet... otherwise you just say it in your head...thats not so much fun...no. But then gradually, after a few days, you do something you've not done in a long time...you ride SLOW. Now thats more ZEN like.... Riding slow ROCKS! its amazing to watch people swish past... reminds me of Revolver...
"...Running everywhere in such a speed,
Till they find, theres no need, theres no need..."
Long live Georgie!
Now, when a mundane thing like riding in traffic can remind me of a song I love, then it does'nt stay mundane anymore!

I hope something,someday,while riding, will remind me of...
"She's jaas Layk a PEHNGWYN in BAAUHNDAYGE BOIEEN... Oh YEAH Oh Yeah Oie... "
Long Live Zappa!

Actually...thaas jaas SICK!


Well, Freedom jam happened... it kicked ass as usual, mostly ours.

Correction to an affore-mentioned Lamentation... there was no bomb threat, Its just that the organisers forgot to get police permission....hmmm. How sad is that? Not very, especially if you have only 2 people running around, arranging something for 20,000 other people... yep! there were 3 stages, and we got the 3rd stage, and we also got mighty PISSED! there were horses around, and it was stinky...Horse Dung....Kudre Laddhi...heheheh R-N-C.... in the words of Mr.BTR...
" Labo-Labohhhh.....!!! "
Long Live BTR!
The allotment was anounced 3 hours after we reported there, so thats 3 hours of horrible,scalding,BUM BELTING heat!!!!...palace grounds is like a bleddy desert!!!
Anyway, things turned out great! we got to sound check our entire list at 3, made fools of ourselves of course, and then got a prime 7 O'clock slot! Which was when we ROCKED the crowd!!!

Its amazing how a drunk audience can be controlled with a simple distortion pedal.

"Wakka-chikka-wakka-chikka-wah-wahn-wahn-wahkah-CHAYHNAYNNNNNN..."
Long Live OS-2 !!!

So,Life is good.
So good is life.
So,is life good?
Good,so is life.
Life is so good.
Life is good,so?

Good Night!

Freedumb Jam!

Am I the pun master or WHAT????? Its always great that somebody is doing something to benefit somebody else and in turn benefit that somebody itself...phew! Guruskool was this lil foundation that has grown to a gargantuan size in the last 3 years....More than providing a platform for young bands to perform, it has created a certain feeling of "woodstock"ishness among bangaloreans...Now how would that benefit? i dunno....I guess its the whole "play your own music" scene... But verrrry rarely does the crowd at freedom jam ask for own comps of local bands...its either METALLLIKKKAAAAA or SLAAAYYYYYER! or MAYDDDENNNNNNN!!!! tsk!tsk!I say...O blimey!

Anyhow...I have very fond memories about the Freedom Jam.... thats where I met the dudes of Mazarine....I remember waiting like mad for "The Galeej Gurus"... they had the 12 "midnight" slot....and they kicked ass!!! But not that night...something happened, they did'nt come on stage at 12...nor at 1...or 2, or 3.... waiting....patiently till 5....then shalimaar, psycholash and myself decided to split...and we went to M.G Road petrol bunk and had coffee...or Cup-O...or was it both? dont remember....I just remember...that my sales job STANK so much...I wanted that night to last forever...with the lovely music...and the whole 'feeling'... wonder if THAT was a "woodstockish" feeling....

3 years since...Freedom Jam is all major now....its soo huge that, its something that the Bastard terrorists consider worthwhile to bomb... hmmm... looks like when you start selling home-made cookies retail at "quick-E" marts and the like, word just spreads....and poof! before you know it..."home-made" cookies are'nt home made anymore!.....Eh??

Wellll,... whats the point if a "freedom jam" is postponed...because of a bomb threat? does it still get to be called a "freedom" jam? How free are we? How much will we take, and how much fear will we be subjected to? Mr.Michael Krishnan says... in his latest masterpiece..."State of fear" how essential it is to have a prevailing feeling of fear, inorder that a society may function normally.... well...thats the gist....

It takes all kinds...but I guess everything can be linked to my roach theory.... are these terrorists needed?? sure they are God's creation et al..... but wtf? Is it true that a society becomes ultra-malfunctional as soon as things settle down???
Do we really need Kashmir? well thats just wrong...today its Kashmir, tomorrow it will be Gujarat, then before long Kerala, then Tamil Nadu...(hmmm...Tamil Nadu....tempting...) finally all thats left for India will be will be Madhya Pradesh...the Crotch of India.... though it would be nice if we could build an underpass from Bihar to pakistan...and say "There! you wanted a state did'nt ya?" while we're at it...another one from Tamil Nadu to Bihar... wonder what would happen if Laloo and Jayalalitha had babies together...... *terribly cold shudder running up my spine....*

Am I Idi Amen or WHAT????

So, Uncle....hows the paper this time??

I got stuck with invigilation ...again. Maybe,watching over "lil" engineering kids answering an exam could be quite interesting, entertaining even. But try watching over someone 20 friggin' years older than you, write his 1'st year paper for the nth time.... you'd think after 'n' attempts....he might actually study this time, but noooo.... he has just devised a (n+1)th method to copy in an exam hall.

Since this was the last year B.U students could write their back papers at the college where they "studied" in, I was given "instructions" to let them copy.... something like.."..let them to refer the chitss...but dont letting them to converse..." eh???
also,"... ward should not move around in the class room" ....EH????

Thats what I was up against....so I enter the class room, and I see 23 people, very happy that I have entered the class.....somehow, word spreads quick....especially when the "word" is about the "kid" who's coming to invigilate today. One buldoo looks at me and asks..." Saar you want my mobile phone...?"...eh?
Yes, that would be nice,also,please ask your son to come back later...I know he's anxious about his father's exam,but he could get long, life-lasting emotional stigma!

One of them was from the 83 batch... EIGHTY THREE!!! I was just 2 years old then!!!! Its probably a nice plan....dude tries hand at engineering, fails missssserrrably...but does'nt want to give up, so gets woman pregnant and marries ...waits for child to join engineering.... then shares notes!!! then passes with flying colours... Alas! it is'nt a "flawless" plan. owing to a factor of "Syllabus Change"!!! also a factor of "probable divorce n no-custody"....

Coming back to me in the classroom....
...So I got tossed around the room....people walked in and out, passed chits, flung question papers out of the window...."why" you ask? so that their "accomplices"(or children,in few cases) could quickly "solve" the paper and appropriately XEROX certain parts of certain text-books, and then "smuggle" the solutions into the exam hall.

Yeah! Watching them at work was awessome!!!

In their defense...."We can't study anymore..." and "...My bakery needs me..." and "I have to get married, I really REALLY NEED a degree"...then really REALLY study!!!

They go all out, these guys...
Even booked the "squad"... that was fun....sometime in between, this huge punk...a cross between a doberman and an elephant's turd..... walked into the room...joined his hands and said "pranaam" to me... next minute he's busy collecting cash from each bozo in the room...."Squad-igey kaasu..." and one big grin..."adjust madkoli saar"
Great!...how'bout I shove a jackfruit up your arse???Yeah!...adjust THAT mo-fuckah!

Anyway, it was'nt that bad....had some fun too.... saw this 97 batch bakra, young n trendy...meaning just 2 years older than me...making him my "super" senior...
...so I walk up to him, watching him burn his answer sheet with answers straight out from some xerox'd notes... look carefully at him....
"You from Ramaiah??" I ask...
"Yeah...why?" .....at that precise moment my eyes brighten and ...
"You RAGGED me did'nt you?????HUH??"....
"NOOO.... I dont think so,...wait..are you mallyalee?? I only ragged mallus..." ...more scaring ...
"No, I remember your face...you ragged me when I was in first year....I'll never forget your face..." ...now he's a lil disturbed...visibly...
"Oh..er..I'm sorry, please dont keep in mind...okay? huh? please."...yeah...heheheh!
...well, as donkey would say..... "uuuunh!!!...thas NAAAYSTEYH!!!"

On the other side...there are dudes that really want to get thru honestly...
this one dude had 28 papers last year, out of which he managed to clear 15... now has 13 papers...And I'm helping him out with one of them....God Bless him! (Well that did'nt quite sound right)

Cockroaches!

This morning, I woke up at 5 am, could'nt sleep because of a sick nightmare! Dreamt that I landed in the U-Gess-OfAY...totally dark,humid and lonely...the weather that is,...well,me too, except for the dark and humid part(This was'nt scarry). Felt weird because I went straight into a university, and the walls had spit marks just like in Ramaiah(This was'nt scarry either...). Then by some twist in the wormholes of my mind I landed back at the airport... And I reached for my phone, then realised my SIM card's gone...(WTF?) Then I realised I would'nt be able to speak to her, (yeah... that was scarry....)... went on further and saw my luggage waiting for me, Then I looked closer and something was missing...my synth...BLINK! No more sleep for me.

What does one do when rudely awoken by oneself and one cant sleep one more minute? try to go back to sleep?.... well not me. I switched on my comp and solved a GRE paper.... bleddy ironic.

So my kitchen's infested with stinking cockroaches....mostly lil ones which i often squish with my thumb... Laxman Rekha does did-dly-squat.... So Dada comes up with "HIT"...(h)it works quite well! most of "them critters" die and go to stinky-roach hell... A few of the adventurous type leave the kitchen in search of "greener pastures" or the stinky cockroach equivalent...

See, its not good to be adventurous when you're easily noticed... basically, anything big with-respect-to the place it lives in, will soon be expelled from place of dwelling, or soon die of "un-natural" means... Dinosaurs for example... I bet if we were as big as King Kong, we'd be squished too...

No one likes to see "things" crawling around the house... even babies...which is why they're fed so much ... so that they'd GROW UP!(If I had a rupee for everytime i've heard that....)

Anyway, so I saw this HUMUNGOUS stinky cockroach on the wall next to the main door...I was just about to leave, but then, you know what they say about sighting a stinky-cockroach just before you leave home...

So i had to throw it out, got my Rocher box and trapped it in. nice! wiggle*wiggle*
then some more wiggle*....from a distance it looked sick...upon closer viewing.... it was just some dust stuck to its butt....gross all the same!

Took the box to the balcony and flung king kong out. Something tells me, he'll be back.

I dont think anybody can actually "LIKE" Cockroaches... They FART every 15 mintues!!
I personally dont like competition.

First time

Vokay here goes, can't write too much....