Monday, November 07, 2005

Gabbar....!

Growing a beard is not easy. Growing a moustache is worse. Its like this, you first grow a beard, then shave off the parts you dont want, till a moustache remains... then you have to groom the moustache...ie, after it has grown considerably. If you're planning on just growing a moustache without a beard camouflage,you'll have to get used to comments like...
"Whats that on his face?!?" or "You should try my soap, its quite effective" or "How was the milkshake"....well,FUCK THEM ALL! especially the type who offer you soap...bleddy condescending pricks!

A burgeoning stubble evokes mixed but amusing responses from people... some even call you handsome... ha!
Trust me,almost nobody likes a bearded being... why? Its like this, beards are scary. Almost all the bad-ass villains were bearded...but why bearded...and not just some kind of funky hair-do...why the poor beard? Its all related to evolution.... for instance, whats the one thing that sets apart man and beast? is it...
...speech?...nope!
...opposable-digits a.k.a thumbs?...hmmmm....nope!
...ability to "enjoy" sex?....well...
...No!!
Its HAIR! more specifically, FACIAL hair...according to Sir Sumschmuckfays Whoocelaustyt's law of follicular relativity....

"The quantity of facial hair is in inverse proportion to the extent of evolution"

There... HAIR is what sets apart man and beast. Its hair that gives animals the "fierce" edge...
And,most people are afraid of animals,beasts, the like. Then from Sir Sumschmuckfays Whoocelaustyt's sub-law,Its true that, the lesser evolved a being, the more afraid is the general masses. Which inevitably leads to the conclusion...

"Scarier when HAIRIER"

Its true...the other day I scared a lil girl just by looking at her! Technically, from Sir Sumschmuckfays Whoocelaustyt's corollary, It should have been the other way around... after all, she had more hair than I did (or ever will) Come to think of it, she was a lil scary.....with her "Earschplittinloudenboomer" like scream.... that might also go on to prove Sir Sumschmuckfays Whoocelaustyt's second and rather explicit law...

"Women.are.scary... "

[btw,thats read "WOMEN(period)ARE(period)SCARY(period)(period)(period)"]
But for some strange reason, he was murdered before proving it...hmmm

But for now, whats been proved is that FACIAL hair decreases IQ. I,can feel that... I've been growing a beard lately,and I dont know if it will evolve into a moustache. Not just because I cant make up my mind, but for the simple reason that I DONT know.
But my not knowing could also be attributed to the fact that I now have a beard, and my IQ has decreased...and so has my perception, understanding,etc...

Maybe I should shave it off, then I'd know exactly what I would want to do with it...but then it would'nt be there anymore....Soooo I'll grow it back knowing what to do with it,and then...but no, what if... what if my stupidity takes over....once again rendering me with a healthy dose of indecision.... Then I'd have to shave again,to regain sense... Yep! I'll do just that.... Shave everyday!


ps : Sir Sumschmuckfays Whoocelaustyt ROCKS!!!!

5 comments:

Abhi Menon said...

Scarier when Hairier!!!

Muscaaaal maaaaaaaaaaaan......!!
beaaaaaaaaaaaaaaard brain...
ha ha!

Abhi Menon said...

hey DP
whens the next post?
its been more than a month!

KAD said...

Saar!! I am to be reading your blog and I am to be saying it is to be very good. Are you to be putting some dynamo theory in the future here??

twenty something said...

i really wanna meet this mr.sumschmuckfays whoslostit...seems interesting...

twenty something said...
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