Bin-uh-Laaaung taime since we Rock'n'Rolled!!!

Three long months! During which,LOTS has happened. actually, not much.... just felt like saying that. Losing many things, hair, more specifically, but more on that later. The semester's over, all exams done, finished with exam duties.... invigilating SUCKS ASS!!!!! Forget music,they wont even let you carry a book! THREE long hours watching students write! But every once in a while, theres entertainment. Feels great to threaten a student....hehehhe *evil laugh* Some of them can be quite stupid! Its like they're in some imaginary universe,apparently where in, room invigilators are nothing more than nothing.... yeah, that says enough.

I've noticed this trend; Inter-Universal-truckin, mainly among first year students. They dont really know how bad the VTU squad can be, wait, let me rephrase.... they dont know that most VTU sqaud members suffer from "CHRONIC ARSE MINDEDNESS" or otherwise, fondly known as "Ed-ZACHERY" disease (for the un-initiated.... "That state, when patient's face looks 'Ed-Zachery' like patient's arse). I love to go near a potential "space trucker" and threaten him.... see, apart from the regular space for the room invigilator's signature, theres this lil box on the student's answer booklet, which reads :"To be signed by Chief Superintendent during time of MALPRACTICE" .....TA-DA!!! So, when i notice them trying to get all owl-eyed, I tell them, pointing to that section on their bookelt, in soft whispers.... "You know, theres another place where i can sign..." ..... SCARES THE CRAP OUT OF THEM!!!!
I think its the word "MALPRACTICE"...sounds very threatening!

Eventhough I know they're trying some shit-like stunt, especially during the university exams, I dont go beyond "scaring" them. Most of who are stupid enough to TRY copying during university exams, are usually quite nervous and scared. A smple warning would do. But try telling the squad that.... firstly... more about the squad.

Picture this, A hot march afternoon, long empty road, preferrably a stretch on the bangalore-mysore highway, maybe just one tree, in the distance... nothing but HOT, HOT, TRES-HOT SUN, burning into the asphalt.... somewhere in the 3rd quartile of the lateral side of the road, a parched, road-fused,festering human turd... Thats your basic squad..... whose members are just variants of dried up desert turds.

"My, my Pintu saar..... why such staunch hatred ?" might you say,
The depths of my psyche, beckons you to, who knows,....foray?
I'm a poet , and I dont know-et! ....."laayk-laayk"

But true in every sense, most of the squad guys are nothing but turds. Its painful to know that some people take pleasure in FAILING a student, for no apparent reason. And this I have witnessed first hand! The bastard "caught" and "booked" a student under "malpractice", just because he had a teeny lil phone book in his pocket... was it wrong to have a phone book in your pocket while answering an exam? Yep it was! And stupid too.... Upon finding such "objects" with students,

If you're a normal person, you would :

1. Check the book for any chits or formulas
2. Warn the student
3. Collect the book and hand it over to the Room invigilator
4. Leave silently (Nooo pun intended)

But if you're a squad guy... you would :

1. Check the book for any chits or formulas
2. Let out a low growl of happiness, signifying new-found prey
3. Do a lil victory dance
4. Shout out weird noises in short bursts, signalling to other turd
munching squad members around the vicinity.
5. Catch the poor student by the collar and make a bee line to the Princi's
office and exclaim with near-orgasmic faces..."Look what WE found...saaar!"

Not to be mistaken, that the squad works with the Princi... the squad is not even part of the college, its a conglomerate of pieces of shit from various colleges in the state. As a matter of fact, the squad PISSES-OFF the Princi...

To make it worse for me, when I stepped into the Princi's office, a lovely scene greeted me...the squad! all happy and together, like the fuckin A-TEAM!
"Yes, we are the champions...my phriends....and we'll keep on faaating till the end!!" Of all the times I have ever felt like punching someone, this one takes the CAKE!!
Since I was the room invigilator for the "culprit" I was urged to sign a few things, mostly what i didnt believe... well I'm happy to say that I did'nt. Atleast somewhere in that roasted brain of theirs, they agreed to let me write my own view of the fiasco. The only problem.... it didnt matter. Not one bit. The poor boy lost a lot of time, was'nt allowed into the hall again, and in all probablities, my "appeal" may have been used as a "kleenex"... or perhaps not, the squad prefers trees and lamp posts. Bastards ki jai!

Upbringing? Emotional immaturity? Sexual frustration?(in other words...
"Apna Haath, Jagannath" syndrome) Or just a simple case of the "If I were King for a day" feeling. It Sucks!!!!

Gabbar....!

Growing a beard is not easy. Growing a moustache is worse. Its like this, you first grow a beard, then shave off the parts you dont want, till a moustache remains... then you have to groom the moustache...ie, after it has grown considerably. If you're planning on just growing a moustache without a beard camouflage,you'll have to get used to comments like...
"Whats that on his face?!?" or "You should try my soap, its quite effective" or "How was the milkshake"....well,FUCK THEM ALL! especially the type who offer you soap...bleddy condescending pricks!

A burgeoning stubble evokes mixed but amusing responses from people... some even call you handsome... ha!
Trust me,almost nobody likes a bearded being... why? Its like this, beards are scary. Almost all the bad-ass villains were bearded...but why bearded...and not just some kind of funky hair-do...why the poor beard? Its all related to evolution.... for instance, whats the one thing that sets apart man and beast? is it...
...speech?...nope!
...opposable-digits a.k.a thumbs?...hmmmm....nope!
...ability to "enjoy" sex?....well...
...No!!
Its HAIR! more specifically, FACIAL hair...according to Sir Sumschmuckfays Whoocelaustyt's law of follicular relativity....

"The quantity of facial hair is in inverse proportion to the extent of evolution"

There... HAIR is what sets apart man and beast. Its hair that gives animals the "fierce" edge...
And,most people are afraid of animals,beasts, the like. Then from Sir Sumschmuckfays Whoocelaustyt's sub-law,Its true that, the lesser evolved a being, the more afraid is the general masses. Which inevitably leads to the conclusion...

"Scarier when HAIRIER"

Its true...the other day I scared a lil girl just by looking at her! Technically, from Sir Sumschmuckfays Whoocelaustyt's corollary, It should have been the other way around... after all, she had more hair than I did (or ever will) Come to think of it, she was a lil scary.....with her "Earschplittinloudenboomer" like scream.... that might also go on to prove Sir Sumschmuckfays Whoocelaustyt's second and rather explicit law...

"Women.are.scary... "

[btw,thats read "WOMEN(period)ARE(period)SCARY(period)(period)(period)"]
But for some strange reason, he was murdered before proving it...hmmm

But for now, whats been proved is that FACIAL hair decreases IQ. I,can feel that... I've been growing a beard lately,and I dont know if it will evolve into a moustache. Not just because I cant make up my mind, but for the simple reason that I DONT know.
But my not knowing could also be attributed to the fact that I now have a beard, and my IQ has decreased...and so has my perception, understanding,etc...

Maybe I should shave it off, then I'd know exactly what I would want to do with it...but then it would'nt be there anymore....Soooo I'll grow it back knowing what to do with it,and then...but no, what if... what if my stupidity takes over....once again rendering me with a healthy dose of indecision.... Then I'd have to shave again,to regain sense... Yep! I'll do just that.... Shave everyday!


ps : Sir Sumschmuckfays Whoocelaustyt ROCKS!!!!

Set me free...

There has never been another song that could ACTUALLY make me feel like this one does....OK,agreed, every song is exclusive in its own subtle way, and further, a song strikes a chord depending on the circumstances under which it is heard, but not this one....from the first time I heard it,to right now...slumped in front of the PC on a Sunday afternoon...at "work"....and through my window,watching a typical "Bangalore" rain...(partial sun...torrential rain...) Even the bloody RAW recording sounds beautiful.... Dunno WHAT those guys were on...when they wrote it.
Brilliant piece of work though. I really dont know the words, but sometimes...just sometimes, a song just by the quality of ABSOLUTE music can "speak" with you...just like the way this does with me..... i dont know if its because of the lovely Maj7ths or the Sus2 or the funny riffs in between (i'm just showing off my knowledge on chords...eh???) But No, seriously....this one song, has THE potential to hit it big... FUCKING BIG!!!...if we can only get our act together.

SO I disconnected my bike's horn... WOW...total "Zen" feeling while riding around... that is, if Zen means "just about to DIE". Bangalore has lost it. Dunno if its S.M Krishna's fault or Premji and Moorthy's. Well, bottomline, its crowded... And Mr.Lowda and Singh are'nt helping either....So,in the words of the Jengle Boy...
"Big Slimey Sweaty Hairy Balls" to them... Ha!
Long Live Jengle Boy!

But its nice not having a horn...No, I'm not mad, maybe a little, Ok, you win. But it sort-of calms you down.
In the beginning, all you feel like doing is RIPPING the MoFo's head off....then you shout stuff like..."Ninn ammanakayee..." of course, only if you're wearing a helmet... otherwise you just say it in your head...thats not so much fun...no. But then gradually, after a few days, you do something you've not done in a long time...you ride SLOW. Now thats more ZEN like.... Riding slow ROCKS! its amazing to watch people swish past... reminds me of Revolver...
"...Running everywhere in such a speed,
Till they find, theres no need, theres no need..."
Long live Georgie!
Now, when a mundane thing like riding in traffic can remind me of a song I love, then it does'nt stay mundane anymore!

I hope something,someday,while riding, will remind me of...
"She's jaas Layk a PEHNGWYN in BAAUHNDAYGE BOIEEN... Oh YEAH Oh Yeah Oie... "
Long Live Zappa!

Actually...thaas jaas SICK!


Well, Freedom jam happened... it kicked ass as usual, mostly ours.

Correction to an affore-mentioned Lamentation... there was no bomb threat, Its just that the organisers forgot to get police permission....hmmm. How sad is that? Not very, especially if you have only 2 people running around, arranging something for 20,000 other people... yep! there were 3 stages, and we got the 3rd stage, and we also got mighty PISSED! there were horses around, and it was stinky...Horse Dung....Kudre Laddhi...heheheh R-N-C.... in the words of Mr.BTR...
" Labo-Labohhhh.....!!! "
Long Live BTR!
The allotment was anounced 3 hours after we reported there, so thats 3 hours of horrible,scalding,BUM BELTING heat!!!!...palace grounds is like a bleddy desert!!!
Anyway, things turned out great! we got to sound check our entire list at 3, made fools of ourselves of course, and then got a prime 7 O'clock slot! Which was when we ROCKED the crowd!!!

Its amazing how a drunk audience can be controlled with a simple distortion pedal.

"Wakka-chikka-wakka-chikka-wah-wahn-wahn-wahkah-CHAYHNAYNNNNNN..."
Long Live OS-2 !!!

So,Life is good.
So good is life.
So,is life good?
Good,so is life.
Life is so good.
Life is good,so?

Good Night!

Freedumb Jam!

Am I the pun master or WHAT????? Its always great that somebody is doing something to benefit somebody else and in turn benefit that somebody itself...phew! Guruskool was this lil foundation that has grown to a gargantuan size in the last 3 years....More than providing a platform for young bands to perform, it has created a certain feeling of "woodstock"ishness among bangaloreans...Now how would that benefit? i dunno....I guess its the whole "play your own music" scene... But verrrry rarely does the crowd at freedom jam ask for own comps of local bands...its either METALLLIKKKAAAAA or SLAAAYYYYYER! or MAYDDDENNNNNNN!!!! tsk!tsk!I say...O blimey!

Anyhow...I have very fond memories about the Freedom Jam.... thats where I met the dudes of Mazarine....I remember waiting like mad for "The Galeej Gurus"... they had the 12 "midnight" slot....and they kicked ass!!! But not that night...something happened, they did'nt come on stage at 12...nor at 1...or 2, or 3.... waiting....patiently till 5....then shalimaar, psycholash and myself decided to split...and we went to M.G Road petrol bunk and had coffee...or Cup-O...or was it both? dont remember....I just remember...that my sales job STANK so much...I wanted that night to last forever...with the lovely music...and the whole 'feeling'... wonder if THAT was a "woodstockish" feeling....

3 years since...Freedom Jam is all major now....its soo huge that, its something that the Bastard terrorists consider worthwhile to bomb... hmmm... looks like when you start selling home-made cookies retail at "quick-E" marts and the like, word just spreads....and poof! before you know it..."home-made" cookies are'nt home made anymore!.....Eh??

Wellll,... whats the point if a "freedom jam" is postponed...because of a bomb threat? does it still get to be called a "freedom" jam? How free are we? How much will we take, and how much fear will we be subjected to? Mr.Michael Krishnan says... in his latest masterpiece..."State of fear" how essential it is to have a prevailing feeling of fear, inorder that a society may function normally.... well...thats the gist....

It takes all kinds...but I guess everything can be linked to my roach theory.... are these terrorists needed?? sure they are God's creation et al..... but wtf? Is it true that a society becomes ultra-malfunctional as soon as things settle down???
Do we really need Kashmir? well thats just wrong...today its Kashmir, tomorrow it will be Gujarat, then before long Kerala, then Tamil Nadu...(hmmm...Tamil Nadu....tempting...) finally all thats left for India will be will be Madhya Pradesh...the Crotch of India.... though it would be nice if we could build an underpass from Bihar to pakistan...and say "There! you wanted a state did'nt ya?" while we're at it...another one from Tamil Nadu to Bihar... wonder what would happen if Laloo and Jayalalitha had babies together...... *terribly cold shudder running up my spine....*

Am I Idi Amen or WHAT????